


Shadow

by sugarsweetsunshine



Series: Pegoryu Week 2020 [6]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pegoryu Week 2020, ryuji taking care of his boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 11:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25969258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarsweetsunshine/pseuds/sugarsweetsunshine
Summary: In the aftermath of what happened in the police station, Ryuji takes notice of how different Akira is.
Relationships: Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Series: Pegoryu Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874080
Comments: 10
Kudos: 111





	Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> hhhhhhhh im sorry this was late i knew i jinxed myself i couldn't keep up with pegoryu week i got busy im sorrryyyyy
> 
> but anyway i wasn't sure what to do with this prompt i thought of doing an actual shadow thing for either akira or ryuji (or both! ooooooo) but i didn't know how to write it out so i went for some good old november angst. i hope you guys still like it!

Akira was not the same person when he came back from that police station.

Ryuji had known him long enough that he liked to think that he knew a lot about Akira, despite the fact that he never really spoke a lot about himself unless prompted. And even then, the guy was quiet. Ryuji wondered in the early days of their friendship why Akira was so quiet; sometimes it even made Ryuji think that Akira didn’t even like him because he was so unresponsive sometimes.

Gradually, he started coming out of his shell. He would smile more often and his laughter sounded so amazing when it was heard so rarely. That little flush to his cheeks when he was really happy made Ryuji’s heart stutter when he saw it. With every new addition to the team, it took him a little time to be comfortable around them but it was always a treat once you realized that Akira was no longer hiding behind the masks.

The plan was too risky and Ryuji hated every second of it. Having to pretend that they were all buddy-buddy with Akechi, that they weren’t constantly walking on eggshells and paranoid that they were going to slip up somewhere. Having to pretend that they weren’t practically sending Akira to his death and just hoping for the best. Ryuji trusted Akira with his life, he knew that he was the most capable of going through with it and coming out on top. 

But on the slimmest chance that Akira never made it out.

It made Ryuji sick to his stomach and there were several times where he slipped up in the casino from his lack of sleep. He just blamed it on the stress as an excuse.

Ryuji was overjoyed to see Akira in person and alive, but his joy turned to rage as soon as he saw the bruising on his pale skin and the prominent limp in his walk. The limping and the way Akira sometimes subtly rubbed at his leg was what bothered Ryuji the most. He didn’t want to know what happened in that interrogation room but at the same time he did, just so he could understand in the slightest what Akira had gone through. 

It was like he had reverted back to the Akira from his first week in Tokyo, except it was way worse. Ryuji didn’t know if anyone else noticed it the way he did, but this wasn’t his Akira. 

He was paranoid. Ryuji would catch him glancing back and forth during a discussion from the attic stairs back to the table. Like he was waiting for something, or someone, to come up and get him. Finish what they started or drag him back into the dark underground to hurt him again. It was like an animal constantly on edge and ready to run at the drop of a pin.

Ryuji couldn’t take it. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t Akira. There was something that just… wasn’t him. It was like something had taken the shape of Akira. A shadow of his former self; it looked like him but it wasn’t him. Ryuji had to do something, anything, to help him.

By the time everybody had packed up and left the hideout for the night, Ryuji stayed put on the couch. Akira was tidying up a little, picking up food wrappers and trying to hide his winces whenever he bent down too far or strained himself too much. Morgana sat next to Ryuji and they both shared a look. They didn’t need to say anything to understand each other, a rare oddity. Morgana stood up and hopped down from the couch, silently slinking down the stairs to leave the two of them alone.

“Akira.” He didn’t even turn around. He just kept cleaning up as if he never even heard Ryuji. He wasn’t ignoring him; Ryuji recognized that look on his face that meant he was too far into his own thoughts to sense anything else around him. Akira had been doing that a lot lately.

“Akira.” Again, nothing. Akira took the bag of garbage and tied it into a knot before setting it to the side and starting to move the chairs. One wrong move and Akira cringed and made a strangled hissing noise and that was the last straw for Ryuji.

He stood up fast enough that he almost made himself dizzy and took two large steps towards Akira, who was already getting ready to try and lift the chair again.

“Akira!” Ryuji gently grabbed Akira by the shoulders. Akira jumped like he’d been shocked and looked at Ryuji like he’d just noticed he was there, which is likely what actually happened. He looked so small and timid with his ruffled hoodie and the bruises still fresh on his face that whatever argument Ryuji had instantly faded.

Ryuji sighed and gently trailed his hands down from Akira’s shoulders to his hands. His fingers were shaky and he still had bandaids on his palms and his wrists and Ryuji had to be very careful but he was so happy that Akira didn’t flinch away from his touch. 

“Akira, you need to relax. You need to stop pushing yourself. Please.” Akira stared down at their hands in lieu of facing Ryuji head on. It was hard to tell what he was thinking but Ryuji took a chance and stepped a little closer. He wanted to believe that Akira trusted him but he wanted to take it slow. 

“Hey. Look at me.” Akira didn’t respond at first but Ryuji was patient. It took nearly a minute for Akira to slowly look up, looking shy and withdrawn and like he was when he first arrived in the city but this was much worse. As soon as they made eye contact, Akira’s eyes welled up with tears. He tried to hold back but Ryuji pulled him into his arms and it was like a dam broke.

Akira buried his face into Ryuji’s shoulder and sobbed hard enough to make his shoulders shake. His sweatshirt was getting soaked and he was worried about Akira hurting himself from how hard he was crying but Ryuji said nothing, he just held Akira in his arms and gently rubbed his back. He knew Akira needed this more than anyone right now. 

He didn’t know of a time where Akira could just let go like this. He always had to be strong, smart, confident. There were times where Ryuji really regretted making Akira the leader of the group. He never meant to put that much pressure on him; that was back when it was just him, Akira, Ann, and Mona. They never expected the Phantom Thieves to grow and expand like this. But it still wasn’t fair to put all that responsibility on his shoulders. It was their fault he ended up in that interrogation room, it was their idea that got him hurt so badly.

“I’m sorry, Akira. I’m so sorry.” Ryuji gently ran his fingers through Akira’s hair and he felt his boyfriend shudder in his arms. Just saying sorry wasn’t going to make it up to him but Ryuji knew that he was going to do more to help. He was Akira’s right-hand man, he needed to act like it. He needed to step up and be a leader when Akira couldn’t.

He didn’t know how long they stood there in the dark attic but eventually Akira’s sobs quieted down into small sniffles. His body was still shaking and he had to be in a lot of pain. 

“Do you feel better?”

He felt Akira nod into his shoulder and slowly lift his head, reaching up with his hoodie sleeve to try and wipe the remaining tears on his face. His eyes were red and still teary and his face was flushed but it did look like he had less of a burden weighing down on him. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” His voice was raspy and tired but he even sounded a little better.

Wordlessly, Ryuji guided him over to the bed. As soon as they sat down, Ryuji peeled off his wet sweatshirt (“‘m sorry.” “Don’t be, it doesn’t matter.”) and tossed it on the floor. They had to move slowly to accommodate from the bruising but eventually they got Akira’s hoodie off and it joined Ryuji’s in the pile. His bandages were still looking clean and new but when Ryuji asked, he eventually admitted that he was in quite a bit of pain and he' forgotten to take the painkillers Takemi prescribed.

Ryuji sighed, called him stupid without any real bite, and got him pills with a cup of water. He insisted that Akira finish the whole cup while he got up to gather more blankets. It was cold in the attic with the weather getting cooler and Akira’s heater had broken earlier that week. When Akira finished the whole cup, Ryuji rewarded him with a kiss and wrapped him up in a heavy blanket he found and dusted off.

It took some careful arranging but eventually Akira was curled up in the blankets with Ryuji’s arms wrapped around him for extra warmth. He knew how much Akira hated the cold and he wanted him to get as much rest as possible. 

“Ryuji?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

Ryuji smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Akira’s head. Already, he was looking and sounding so much better now compared to how he’d been all week. _This_ was his Akira. And he swore to protect him from anything else that might try to hurt him.

“I love you too, Akira.”


End file.
